French men don't get caught
In America, a lapse in monogamy ruins marriages, bankrupts couples, and condemns families to divorce-court hell. In Europe and elsewhere, infidelity is considered a bump in the road, if it's considered at all. Here's why.
By Jardine Libaire, Best Life
With the world largest divorce rate, where over half that marriages end in divorce ( 17% of them cite infidelity as the reason). It is a very interesting topic.
There are a few interesting hypothesis offered.
First Americans have higher expectation of marriages
In the ideal American marriage today, we are told to look to
one person for everything—sexual, spiritual, financial, intellectual,
emotional—we need. It might be that the way our perception of marriage has
evolved leaves little room for marriage to thrive.
So because we want have such lofty ideas, the marriage is pre-destined to failure?
Second Most Americans think of a heightened sense of autonomy as a threat or an abnormality.
We compulsively look to media, to society, to our partners for our own
self-esteem, without ever stopping to wonder how our self-worth ended up in
someone else's hands.
This carries a little more weight with me, as long as you are looking for that someone else to complete you, you are bound to failure. However it is the presumption that Europeans have an edge over Americans in their ability to reckon with one's own soul, that irks me.
Third Most other countries women have lower powers.
..in other countries women have fewer rights. Men cheat, and women have no
leverage to stop them or to complain. It's not a matter of tolerance but of
unequal freedoms. He reminds me that in some countries, women are stoned to
death for adultery.
Even as I wince at this one, I know it to be true. Not for Europeans however. So there is that.
All in all an interesting read, some holes, but this is a tricky area to offer theories on, and it is very American to offer theories and recognize pattern definitely. Next time you are at a book store ( or at amazon) look at the number of books that will help you detect that your mate is cheating.
Maybe the question is what fidelity is and what is love, Is it too much pressure for your spouse to be your soul mate? it is normal for a human being to be monogamous, is it the price to pay for the security of a marriage?
Maybe it is….
