Time

A little over eight years ago, I started working for a software firm. It was the pre-dot-com era and I was glad to be finally doing what I loved doing anyway and getting paid for it. I loved my job. Thru the ups and downs of my life this one thing has been constant. Almost.

In the last couple years I have seen the stirrings of the seven year itch. This is not the job I loved, everywhere I look I see mediocrity and politics... coming into work is not a rush anymore and I do not long for my vacation to end so that I can go back to work.
What happened to it? Did I just get bored? Is it mid-life crisis? Or did the world at work really change?

I see so many people complain about the workplace.. most of them are just bitter 20-something 'grass is greener on the other side of the fence' complaints. Complaints of how people had it good 10-15 years ago and they could make easy millions by joining some software company and how they have been robbed of the opportunity ... basic complaints about having to work hard for the millions now.

But, I see things around me that I don't like, the firm is getting fat in the middle... Too much management and not enough people doing real work ... and most of the middle-management is pitiful anyway. Unhappy, scared, de-motivated, de-moralized people, not enough leadership in everyday life. Bad product strategy ... higher ups not in touch with reality and then the 'spin'-- for everything. Too much politics and not enough 'lets fix it.

This is not the place I started at... I was a green college grad student, who felt like she had finally come home. People were smart and worked hard. Nothing was impossible or too hard, there was integrity and fun. I loved it. I could walk down the hall to talk to the guy who wrote the API and have him tell me how and sometimes even acknowlege, my way of doing something was better than his original design.

I have given this place eight years and it has given me a lot back in return, a place to learn and grow, contribute to the world with what I do, a fat paycheck and a fatter benefits packet, friends and co-workers who are like my family now.

I have fought with people on why it is not the evil empire and why it is a great place to work.. why the review model and the curve are not arbitrary, how the interviews need to be that long. Folks tell me I have been drinking the company cool-aid too long:) but I just believe in a lot of these things that form the foundation of this place. I have seen really good managers who have used the tools of recruiting and reviewing in ways to promote happy and healthy teams. There is nothing really wrong with the system, every system can be used in ways that are counter to the principles that created it. Quoting Warren Buffet, Three things to look for in people you hire, they should be honest, hardworking and smart. The first two being essential, without which the third one actually becomes dangerous.

I read in JWZ's blog a long time ago, when he quit netscape he said, there are two kinds of people, people who make a company successful, and the kind of people who want to work for a successful company. I do believe the place I work for is now getting heavier in people of the second category. Sad as it sounds, this is not home anymore. Will I stay and try to fix my home or will I quit? Time will tell, I guess.

playlist

Devo - girl I want
Korn - freak on a leash
INXS- the stairs
Elvis Costello - indoor fireworks
INXS -Faith in Each other
Faith no more - I won't forget you
Cure - close to me
Hootie and the blowfish - only wanna be with you
Elvis Costello - lovable
Fleetwood Mac - Go your own way
Elvis Costello -I hope you are happy now
Cake -Friend is a four letter word
Chris Cornell - Can't change me
Billy Joel - And So it goes
INXS - not enough time
The Cardigans - Lovefool
....

If there were a way to psychoanalyze a playlist, what would my verdict would be ?

Coprocephalic -- or Shithead
I agree!

Technology

I am an engineer by education. No, not a namby-pamby software engineer, but a blacksmith-mechanical one. I spent four years learning how metals work, how things are built, how engines work and take them apart and put them back together. As it turns out I work as a namby-pamby software engineer now, moving bits in machines that are of interest to few geeks like me… to send out things like email and stop viruses from infesting your email system and arcane things like that.
Yet, there are times when technology takes my breath away.

I bought a sewing machine last week. A computerized sewing machine, Janome harmony. It has a microprocessor that controls thread tension and needle placement. I am in love.

I learnt to sew when I was very young; my mom had a mechanical Singer, a black thing made out of cast iron with black shiny paint and gold lettering. By the time I was 13 I knew how to take apart the bobbin housing and put it back together, change the needle, the belt, and pretty much fix anything that was wrong with it. I used to love that machine. My Barbie’s had the best wardrobe ever and I even remember making a huge patchwork quilt out of that mechanical contraption.

My mom replaced it with a modern expensive electronic machine while I was in college. I could never work that ... it was like trying to work with VB after programming in C. I couldn't use pointers and make my application have a smaller footprint... it had a lovely UI though. Needless to say, my love for designing and sewing waned.

And then I got the Janome. It adjusts to the fabric and changing the needle is just like old times, It responds well to pedal pressure and best of all, my love for sewing is back. It was like that when I bought a Steamer for my clothes or the Kitchen Aid kitchen machine which could knead the dough to the perfect elasticity for rolling out the yummiest chapattis or the mix the best chocolate chip cookie dough.

I have never stopped to marvel at the tin box that I can drive to over 150kms/hr to get where I need to, or the rolling belt on which I can run indoors or the perfect temperature of the hot water in my kitchen or bathroom, or the wonder of inoculation or traveling at the speed of sound or the incandesent glass bulb that makes candles an ornamental fragrence source. I do marvel at the sound of a CD, it seems like the orchestra is playing just for me or the amazing photosensitivity of my digital camera that gets wonderful pictures in almost any light or the clarity of the images from the DVD which brings places I have never seen so close...and then there is my steamer and the kitchen machine and sewing machine which makes me marvel at this thing called technology..
I guess I am girl after all :)

Ah Men...

According to Mary Beth Ellis the sexiest movie men are as follows:

Sean Astin
Antonio Banderas
Tom Selleck
Michael J. Nelson
John Cusask
Harrison Ford
Will Smith
Viggo Mortensen
Heath Ledger
Hugh Jackman

link: http://msnbc.msn.com/id/9066263/


The lady likes her men dark and handsome(not all of them are tall :)).

That got me thinking to my list of top movie men... I realized I did not favor 'Dark' men as such, I had a fair sprinking of blonds and tawnys... Yeah, tall was important, but apart from couple all show some signs of an active brain( you gotta have one dumb blonde that you adore :))...
so my list:
Robert Redford -- what can I say, tall- blond, blue eyes , smart with a twinkly smile... my perfect dreamboat. "He was like the country he lived in, everything came too easy to him" thus he is described by Katie in 'the way we were' ... the perfect description, methinks.

Tom Hanks -- Dark and goofy with a penchant for witty repartee. Twinkly eyes and a lovely open smile. Big, Man with one red shoe, Turner and Hooch... ofcourse Sleepless in seattle, Philadelphia and not to forget 'that thing you do'. Sigh ...

Matt Damon -- Naughty blue eyes, a mischievous smile and loaded with smarts! He stole my heart in Good Will Hunting. Another man who quit harvard to pursue his dreams( I work for another one of those). His interviews read like stories, the guy should seriously consider writing more, he is a damn good story teller.

Hugh Jackman-- Ah, tall -dark and handsome, with an aussie accent, who sings like an angel... What else could a girl want :). Someone like You, typical chick-flick... fell in love with his one-liners ( " oh this? I bit myself shaving") and his smile :)


Others include Jude Law ( the dumb blond), George Clooney ( as Carrie said he is like a chanel suit.. he'll never go out of fashion ...), Will Smith ( everyone has to love him...), Josh Lucas( how could you not...), Ryan Phillippe ( the dumb brunnette?)...
this will have to do for now :)

Harry Potter and the half blood prince

Harry and his friends sixth year at Horgwarts. Lord Voldemort is back, the world is in panic, death eaters and dementors are on the loose... The daily Prophet brings news of death and mayhem everyday. Harry is the quidditch team captain and Ron and Hermione are prefects. Bill is getting married to Fleur. Harry and Co are 16 now, the tone of the book has changed-- romance tends to throw a different light on things and friends :). Malfoy has a mission and Snape makes an Unbreakable Vow. All in all an eminiently readable 650 pages.

JK Rowling, she is one the most masterful kids story writers in my humble opinion. Soccer’s stone was first published in 1998, by a single mom who had a story to tell. In less than a decade she has become one of the most celebrated authors of kid’s literature the world has ever seen.

The books do not talk down to kids and she does not present the world in clean clear light, she does not hide the ambiguity and grayness. Harry goes thru the most terrible conflicts and self doubts, trying to figure out good from evil and learning most times that both reside in the same place. There are no idols, Dumbledore is the closest to one, but he too says "I make mistakes like the next man. In fact, being- forgive me - rather cleverer than most men, my mistakes tend to be correspondingly huger".

It has the elements of fantasy and unbridled imagination... I love the way she takes ordinary things and translates them to the wizard land. The fireplace transport, the moving people in the paintings and photographs, the crazy candy, Hogwarts express from platform number 9 3/4. The house elves, the pumpkin Juice, the sorting hat, the subject-- Divination, Potions, Charms, Herbology... I love the way the normal things from school have been extrapolated to this wizard world. Fifteen inches of parchment on werewolves! The curses lumous, accio, Expelliarmus, Petrificus Totalus .. and the names Albus, Remus, Minevera, Severus, Sirius... She sounds like she is having a blast, poking fun at all those adult things like discipline and rules and latin that kids find tedious-- as she teaches the kids who read about the things in life that are truly important- loyalty, friendship, love, trust...

And not to forget, the game, quidditch.

I have a couple male friends of mine complain about that game... "it is stupid, how can you not have better rules and how can you just end the game if the snitch is caught?" And as I sat there listening to the two grown men crib about why quidditch was a stupid, I started laughing. This was brilliant. This was a game created by a woman, of course it was going to be a fast paced game that she could end as soon as the snitch was caught( while letting potter being the hero cause he could be the seeker:))

Did I say that I enjoy the books most of all because Joanne Kathleen Rowling seems to write like she is enjoying herself immensly?