All in a day's work.

This is what I did yesterday. It was a productive day :)

blue and green...should never be seen

Tagged

Sudip tagged me so, I get to talk about books.

Last book I bought :
The Corrections (Jonathan Franzen). This was nominated for the Pulitzer a couple years ago, when the author dissed Oprah and her book club ( deeming them an inferior literary audience). Massive bad PR. The book sounds like it is going to be v. good.

Last book I read:
Timeless way of building( Christopher Alexander), maverick architect whose book inspired the gang of four Design Patterns bible. Awesome.

Book(s) currently reading:
India: A wounded civilization( V S Naipaul). He and I share a dislike of Gandhi (ji). I have to put the book down every few pages. Hate him for that ( wrecks my book reading average) and love him for that( makes me think)
Aspect Oriented Programming. Love it. why is it so hard to get?

Total # of books I own:
A lot, but not enough.

Books that mean(t) a lot to me:
I read authors not books, don't really have an all time favorite author. Jane Austen comes close, but that maybe because she died before she could wreck her books by becoming serious. Agatha Christie and Enid Blyton, Heidi, What katie did, all precious memories from my childhood. My mom was a book nazi, wouldn't let me read American Authors( they don't know how to write, besides life is too short to read just any book!). Needless to say, I lapped up American authors when I got out. Despite my childish complaints, my mom, is to-date my best book reading buddy. I can never thank her enough for the gift of reading.
Off late the new crop of Indian authors has been an interesting study, they are prolific. Most of them talk of an India that is far cry from the safe-suburban place I grew up in.
Books I have read are like bookmarks in my life, they signify a transition, a change, who/what I was when I was reading them, so here goes, a list of books that were by me in my transitions...
We, the living( Ayn Rand) she should have stopped writing after this.
Listening Now ( Anjana Appachana) this was like an onslaught, no book has assaulted me so bad, and it wouldn't stop.
Azadi ( Chaman Nahal) retold the stories of partition I had heard from my grandma.
MiddleSex ( Jeffrey Eugenides) intriguing.
Replay(Ken Grimwood) what would I do if this happened to me.
All quiet on the western front(Erich Maria Remarque) I was 16, too young to read this book.
Grapes of Wrath ( Steinback) he told me about an america I could have never imagined
Memoirs of a Geisha(Arthur Golden) a 'man' wrote this book !?!?!?
Ender's game ( Orson Scott Card) child's play ?
From Heaven lake ( Vikram Seth) ignited my wanderlust, yet again.
Trinity( Leon Uris) because the Irish fascinate me.
Jude, the obscure( Thomas Hardy) how could someone be so unfortunate?
A good man is hard to find ( Flannery O'Connor) my american rebellion.

The list is endless, I will stop now.

As far as taggin is concerned, the cheese stands alone:)

SATC

Here it is. No girlie blog is complete without it.. and since I have been delving into feline, Uh, feminine topics off late, I can't let this one be.
New York and single women in their thirties. Sex, shoes and bitching. What else does a girl need ? I love it. The book is nothing to the series, it is one of those things where the characters took off ... and took a life of their own and went where they would...
So, Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and the notorious Sam. I recently read in some teeny-bopper blog about this guy getting uncomfortable when a girl asked him who she resembled the most out of the four SATC women. I laughed at the poor guy's dilemma, there was no winning this one...
Where do I start, shoes.. I love them, so that was the first source of bonding, Carrie purring "helllooo lovverrrrr" to a pair of Dolce Gabbana strappy sandals in the shop window. Instant love. The absurd heels, the crazy colors, Manolo Blahnik, Jimmy choo are household names now ...Ahh, shoes.
So next, Sex. It is pretty awesome. When the show first started some 5/6 years ago, there weren't many things on TV ( or cable) that talked about it from the woman's perspective, on prime time. The 'rabbit' episode was single handedly responsible for the sales spike at 'toys in babe-land'. Even the 'demure' Charlotte was hooked. Orgasms and faking it, every kind of sex(I am try-sexual, I'll try anything once) toys and men( and women)...Debunking the greatest myths of all time, lovely!
And the bitching, tearing down relationships, over-analyzing ex's, decimating the ex's new flame(the stick figure with no soul) and ex's ex and all 20 something girls ( until they marry the man who broke your heart). Feminine rivalry at its best, and feminine loyalty too ... women will hate for you, they don't' need logic like your men friends to hate someone who hurt you ... (It's hard to find people who will love you no matter what. I found three of them...)

I love it, for all that it is on the surface, the fashion, the trash talk, the outrageousness of it all. And I love it for how it is does not mince words. The girls are real to me, they are shallow, they are deep, they are random, they are flaky, they love, they hurt, they think... they are not angels or bitches... but they sit somewhere in between.




I admit it's tempting to wish for the perfect boss, the perfect parent, or the perfect outfit. But maybe the best any of us can do is not quit, play the hand we've been dealt, and accessorize what we've got.

Charlotte: So how are you?
Carrie: I'm good. How are you?
Charlotte: Great.
Carrie: I told Aidan about the affair and he broke up with me.
Charlotte: Trey and I never had sex on our honeymoon.
Carrie: You win. So. Should we get more coffee or should we get two guns and kill ourselves?

Can you get to your future if your past is present?

Stanford: I can only stay a few minutes. I got tickets to the Vagina Monologues.
Carrie: Why?
Stanford: Just because I don't eat at the restaurant doesn't mean I can't hear the specials.

Carrie: Hey, I don't need therapy. I need new friends!
Samantha: Look, we're as fucked up as you are. It's like the blind leading the blind.

Miranda: Steve is completely predictable but that's one of the things I love about him. He's just so comfortable and safe.
Carrie: Are you dating a man or a minivan?

Carrie: I tried the trapeze yesterday for that piece that I'm writing.
Charlotte: I could never! I have the most terrible fear of heights.
Carrie: Well, I do not. You've seen my shoes.

Carrie: Men in their forties are like the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle: tricky, complicated, and you're never really sure you got the right answer.

Carrie: Well, I think maybe there's a cheating curve. That someone's definition of what constitutes cheating is in direct proportion to how much they themselves want to cheat.
Miranda: That's moral relativism!
Carrie: I prefer to think of it as quantum cheating.

Carrie: It's a pattern.
Samantha: I don't have a pattern.
Carrie: In math, randomness is considered a pattern.
Samantha: Yes, and I'm what they call a prime number.

Great sex is great, but I still like a song with a melody I can sing to.

Charlotte (about a waiter dressed in a bondage outfit): How does he wait on tables dressed like that? It's humiliating.
Carrie: Well, the summer I worked at Howard Johnson's I had to wear an orange hat.

if men ...

WARNING!!!
Do not read if you are squeamish around 'feminine hygiene' issues.



Seriously, if men menstruated, there would be dispensers in every stall.

I am a child of the seventies, I came of age in the 'post-feminist' era. I haven't witnessed any feminine rallies or been a part of bra-burning feminine non-conformist movement. I was born in a world, where women could vote, could go to college, could wear whatever they wanted and decide who they would marry(they still had to get married, one step at a time, I guess).
Tampon rallies of 1998- This was a first for me. At the time, I had felt the pain. I was at the U part time during this effort and I was working full time. The company I worked for had free soda for its employees but the tampon dispensers needed money( when they were available). Ah, the furor...
My indignant feministic rants found an echo in the other voices around me. There were articles all over and the funnest part was, women were waiting, like hawks, for men to utter a word of protest...

http://www.google.com/u/uwdaily?q=tampon+dispensers&sa=Archive+Search

Meanwhile, where I worked, within a month of the rally, ( and one article in the company newsletter) there were dispensers in each of the women's rooms and they did not need dimes anymore.

Peace!

Can female leaders be true to themselves?

Gender differences can be used to either positive or negative effect. Women, in particular, are prone to being stereotyped according to differences- albeit usually not the ones they would usually choose. Partly, this is because of there are fewer women than men in management positions. According to research in social psychology, if a groups representation falls below 20% of a given society, then it is going to be subjected to stereotyping whether it likes it or not. For women, this may mean being typecast as 'helper', 'nuturer' or 'seductress'- roles that may prevent them from defining their own differences.
In earlier research, we discovered that many women, especially women in their fifties try to avoid this dynamic by disappearing. They try to make themselves invisible. They wear clothes that disguise them; they try to blend in with men by talking tough. That's certainly a way to avoid negative stereotyping, but the problem is that it reduces a woman's chances of being seen as a potential leader. She's not promoting her real self and differences. Another response to negative stereo typing is to collectively resist it -- for example by mounting a campaign that promotes the rights, opportunities and even the number of woman in the workplace. But on a day-to-day basis, survival is often all woman have time for, therefore making it impossible for them to organize themselves formally.
A third response that emerged in our research was that woman play into the stereo typing to personal advantage. Some woman, for example, knowingly play the role of nuturer at work, but they do it with such wit and skill that they are able to benefit from it. The cost of such strategy? it further harmful stereotypes and continues to limit oppertunities for other women to communicate their genuine personal differences.

-Robert Goffee & Gareth Jones ( HBR- oct 2000)


It is not just women in management, it is all women who get the limelight. This is why I hate
Aishwarya Rai with so much venom.

Two thoughts for the day...

I am a sucker for the way something is said... I get lost in words... metaphors, similies, double-entendres ...
I get phrases stuck in my head... And I look at them as I would look at a painting; marvelling at their beauty. But, what is said is important too. I am into content. It is a prerequisite to being considered beautiful by me.

The phrases:

1. Listen to understand, not respond.
Love this one, it is something I have wanted to say to a lot of people, but words got in the way. It is succint and hits the spot. Every one has something they can teach me, if, I listen to what they are saying.

2. Good intentions do not sanitize bad impact.
This is something I have to remind myself over and over again. I am apt to call the spade a bloody shovel. I am sure you can see the problem here. Am working on this one.

You can't tell people anything

I have been grappling with miscommunication for a while now ( last 20 years?). I have acquired skills to improve the situation somewhat. Sometimes when all effort fails I write posts like this.

I am in a good mood today. My team at work is very well aware of my issues with communication. Somehow I manage to communicate with them just fine... maybe that is beacause we are a team and trust each other and take the time. Anyhow, I got this article from one of them, I have to post this, makes me feel much better about my communication skills :)
http://www.fudco.com/habitat/archives/000014.html

Management

I am a manager at work... ie my employers have graciously decided that I need a group of people to help me accomplish the task and that I am good enough to be their 'leader'.
I crib abotu my job, about the burecratic crap I have to deal with everyday and the tons of meetings I have to go to, the presentations I have to make... ad nauseum.
I complain about being a manager, but what I am really complaining about is the adminstrative overhead. I like being a manager in the real sense of the term. I am coach, a mentor and a parent all rolled into one. Coming into a new position, the first challenge I take upon myself is to create a team. A team, where people work togther, each has their own role, but they are there to support others when needed. People love working in good teams. And three to four months into each of my job, they notice that they work well together now... they are a team. My managers notice this, always have, they ask me how I do it and I can't tell them. I have had trainign for the role... being an elder sister, teaching assistant, parent all have taught me somthing. I like to think I know how to motivate people :) or maybe I have been using something that AI folks have just now discovered. People trust people ( or robots) that mimic their mood, thought process or more superficially their mannerisms. To me it has been a simple analysis, if I have to move someones point of view from A to B, I better be damn sure of what/where point A is. It sounds cold and manipulative, but it has taught me empathy. And seeing people's point of view, and really stepping in their shoes. It has brought understanding and surprisingly it has also brought me humility. I truly understand that there is no black or white, it is all shades of gray. I have changed my point of view after talking to people around me. Accepting that you were wrong isn't just a political move. People have an instinct for when you are genuine, even the so called 'stupid' people. In leadership, like anyother relationship, trust is paramount, you can't play with it.
My managers may not have always agreed but my teams have always loved me and I, them.
Reviews are coming up at work and this year I have not done much. My manager might disagree...
But my reviews are in. My team gave me their feedback ( anonymously, ofcourse) company poll and manager feedback.

• My Manager is really good at helping with personal developement. Our whole team is clearly happier and moving in smart directions careerwise.
• She educates us on coding techniques, coaches us to become better SDETs. Meets and talks with us regularly, and supports good work life balance.
• Gives me constructive feed back.
• Over all, she is a great person and a super lead.

They used words like team and lead.
Thank you, I have my review results already and I am thrilled.

Progress Report

Maths and Science Uma has had a very successful year. I appreciate all the maturiy and leadership she has brought to both the classroom and the aftercare program. Uma has a strong understanding of the fundamentals of mathematics and has displayed great competency in all areas of learning. It has been a pleasure working with her. Thank you for everythign Uma. Good luck in kindergarten!

Language Art and Social Studies
Uma has had a marvelous year! She is always willing to help or participate in whatever we are doing in class. Her reading skills are excellent and she comprehends a tremendous amount. If she doesn't understand, she asks questions and wants to understand everything. She adds great details to activities in class and recalls great information about the books we have read. Thank you for your hard work and I will miss your beautiful smile. Wishing you al the best next year in Kindergarten! you have done a stupendous job uma!!!

And she is only 5 years old!!!!!

Sad, no more...

I have been morose too long, today is a day to laugh and wanted to write something happy... so here are the things that make bring a smile to my face...

waking up in the morning, to the sound of birds chirping.
the smell of the first rain after the summer
daylight saving time
cold water
fresh green of the leaves in spring
a pink east sky at sunset
a cup of hot coffee
people who hate tofu and soy-milk
a story with a punchline that knocks you over
a little childs smile
the 50 random stickers on my office window
the broken key of my laptop keyboard from the last time I was in an earthquake
pink and blue together in a outfit
napkins of recylced paper ( it is sooo pacific northwest )
compassion
phones with long cords
perfect song on the radio the moment you turn it on

:)

wise words...

Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati

if all else fails, play dead.