Up, Down and Out

In management jargon, you manage up, down and out --

Managing Down- meaning you manage your team their expectations, their goals and results. This is easy to me. You are in charge and you are ultimately responsible for the results, but you divide the tasks... everyone does their piece; you teach, coax, dictate and manage. Your first priority is the business needs and second priority your people and their well being. They switch sometimes; longer term, happy satisfied employees make for success. Done.

Managing Out- meaning manage your peers, communicate with them, lean on them, have them lean on you... You are equals, partners. You vent, you crib, ask for advice and generally work together leveraging the best in each other. This is easy. Done.

Managing Up- This is about outlining your expectations, aligning your priorities with your manage(ment). Giving them realistic and timely feedback, keeping them informed about the obstacles that come your way. Ask for advice and support.
This is where it starts getting fucked up. You are responsible for your team and you are at par with your peers but where do you stand with your manager? Your manager is your boss, he judges you. He is the one, who awards you promotions and bonuses.

There is a slight tension in the roles of mentor and manager. I expect to be able to go up to my mentor and blurt out all my shortcomings and failures and ask for help and advice. But I would never do that to my boss, would I? But how will I learn, if I do not admit what it is that I am having difficulty with? It is kinda like my (now) relationship with my parents. I am grownup who manages a fairly successful life on her own, but when it comes to my parents, I become a truculent 16 year old. Unreasonable, stubborn. I know how to cajole and reason, but I will not do that with them. I want them to be the grownups ( so that I can be the kid).
I have been lucky to have had really good managers earlier in my career, where I could lay down all my faults and have them help me triage and figure out plan of action, recognize my strengths and weaknesses and help me leverage one and overcome the other. As I climb up the corporate ladder I have to 'manage' my own career and laying out of faults is not allowed. I cannot ask questions without having a plan of action. I can ask for approval but not for a solution... or can I?

I have been puzzling the conundrum for a while now. Sometimes, I get a peek at a workable solution. Learning to balance; just like I have learnt to balance micro-managing and being hands-off with my reports. I need to recognize the issues where I need more coaching and areas where I can be on my own. Present a balanced picture, keep in touch, teach my manager how to help me and stop thinking of him as an omniscient - omnipotent being, leverage his strengths... almost a partner in a way.

Some days I get it and other days the kid in me throws a tantrum...I think I am getting there. One step at a time. There is a lot more to experience. That is why it takes time :)