Self-deception

You can't focus on the results because you are focused on yourself.
My self-justifying image about being learned is the very thing that keeps me from learning.

We are so afraid of censure and inadequacy that the only way to feel better is to blame others and make them less. We put ourselves in a box so that we can feel righteous, secure even. If the other person is wrong, we are right. We give in, we cope, we apologize... even though we are busy, on the inside, hating and blaming others.

I have done it often. And, everytime I feel inadequate, I do it again. Enter my box, deceive myself to cover up for some fault of my own. The problem is it doesn't make me feel better, it makes others feel worse and my temporary self-righteousness fades and my faults come back and smack me, right in the face.

Leadership and Self Deception - getting out of the box
The Arbinger Institute
http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadershop/5094-9.html