Children...

• You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
• Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
• Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
• Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
• The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
  
  I love my child to death, but she does have the moments when I wonder, why O h Why did I decide to have a kid :). It is a completly different story that mommy bear will not let anyone else growl at her baby bear .. infact she will growl them out of her house, if they as much as attmpt to look mad at her baby bear ... parents!

Glory...

yippee..
Glory Road is the right now highest box office grosser... 16.5M
( it will probably change soon…)
My two loves in the same place, Josh and basketball
:D

'appy New Year!

It is new year.. time for resolutions! One of those boring things that most people do. The most popular ones being 'getting in shape' and 'getting organized' which account for the lack of parking at the gym and the million storage sales in the first week of Jan. I have been trolling the headlines ( and the sales signs and gyms apparently) to glean this information and another interesting resolution seems to be ‘getting the personal life in order’, finding that ‘someone’ in earnest, as evidenced by the flood of dating tips and statistics and all those discounts by the online dating services. Someone resolving to find a mate is great but others making the resolution for them is a bit, erm, daunting to say the least. I have had my once-a-year-contact-married friends dropping not so subtle hints ... all I got to say is , wow!!!
Anyhow, my resolutions.
This year I resolved to yes, like the rest of the mere mortals get organized, so storage container sales came in handy :). My house is organized, garage not so much.. but well begun is half done… and I have tons of containers.
Reflecting on the year past, I decided that I'd do at least one thing that I would regret not doing, if I were to die today. So traveling is the thing this year. Let’s see where it takes me.

I also decided to yell at myself less-- for instance, not go shopping unless I had written out list. I am old now, I should not yell at myself if I cannot keep a 30 item list in my brain. Doing so I will be following some very good advice 'brain space is at a premium, never memorize anything that can be written down on a piece of paper'. Then again, my brain is notorious for selectively picking up things. It is like the unpredictable child that picks up pebbles off a beach as it fancies. But the larger goal is to be nice to myself... I am sure I can mange that :)

Last thing, I will floss regularly. This is one of those things that I attempt to do... and then forget. I have bought a big box of waxed floss from costco, so that I don't fall short of this because of resources.

Uma surprised me with one of her own. She told me ' I want to take better care of my things' and as I was wondering where she came up with this from, she came running and gave me a big ol' hug, 'like giving you more hugs, mommy '
:D

the spice trail

I am on my Christmas break these days. This year, I am cooking (last year I re-did a couple rooms in my house). It is something about time of from work, this time of the year, I always find myself new projects.
Anyhow, this year I decided I would cook. I love cooking; my audience has dwindled over the years. Uma and me aren't big eaters, or for that matter much interested in eating. But both of us agree that cooking is a lot of fun. My kid brother ( not such a kid anymore ) was my best audience ever. He would eat most anything I made and tell me it was wonderful :). Ah those days ...
Anyhow, back to cooking. I was shopping online ( at Amazon) for a couple friends of mine when I came upon this book, actually the website thought that I might like the book( how thoughtful). I hadn't bought a cook book in a while and this looked interesting ( From Curries to Kabab's, recipes from the Indian spice trail). So I got it. It is a lot of fun. It is full of tiny little history bits about spices and origins of recipes. Madhur Jaffery, the author, has traveled quite extensively to Africa, Caribbean, Europe, south-east-asia. And she traces the recipes from these places and retails stories about how the immigrant Indian population modified the recipes to work with the available spices or sometime add Indian spices to local recipes to give them Indian flavor.
The recipes are not for the amateur, she misses out important processing steps sometimes and unless you know how to cook, you'd be a little lost with what to do with the celery tops and scallions. It is fun reading the book, and cooking from the recipes in it, I guess I am a little old-fashioned, I like books and CDs even in the digital age.
The book is by no means complete. Madhur, being from the western part of India, seems to know more about that area and since these recipes are culled from friends and acquaintances, have extensive coverage from Kenya, South Africa, Trinidad. They cover Thai, Indonesian, Malay and Chinese food too. Eastern Indian isn't and Kashmir food is completely missing. There are some attempts to go south but most of them are tentative (limited to seafood and some hyderabadi recipes). It is a pretty ambitious undertaking, to trace the cuisine of the second most prolific people in the world. And the attempt is very good.
She writes with love for food like a patient aunty teaching me to cook. And then she throws in some wicked comments, which make me look at her in surprise before I burst out laughing. I have tried a bunch of stuff, but this is one thing I tried just because I loved the way she described it.

South-African Chicken Biryani While a moghlai biriyani is mild, pale, elegant and delicately savory. Designed to be eaten with equally delicate yoghurt preparations, the South-African one is vibrant, spicy and piquant; definitely the hot chick at the dance.

Rang De Basanti

I have to say, I take umbrage to the loose translation 'color me yellow'. I guess Hindi is a hard language to translate to English, but color me yellow is horrible ( esp. if you think about the connotations that ' yellow' carries in English!!). Anyhow, my humble translation, Basanti has more to do with Basant( ie spring) and so basanti carries with it a notion of spring. Color me the colors of spring? it does go better with tag line of the movie ' a generation awakens'.

The music.
It is by A R Rahman. I was quite in love with the mangal pandey music, but with this album the ARR I used to love is sooo back :). The album is strange, almost weird, but boy, do the songs grow on you! It conveys the unrest and indecision of a young generation And he is doing what I love, picking out the right voices to support his songs steering clear of the popular.



Ik Onkar : sung by Harshdeep Kaur, it the authentic rendition from Japji Sahib, reminds of the sunday morning guru-bani in the ye olde days of doordarshan when we did not have ten thousand channels on the Indian TV. ARR didn't mess with it, left it as is. Good.

Rang De Basanti: The title track, sung by, hold your breath, Daler Mehndi (and a cameo by Chitra). It is lovely. None of the brit-panjabi-pop, tunnu-tunnu's. When reined in, the guy can sing! The lyrics are part-patriotic and ARR uses the traditional bhangra instruments, the single strand ektara, plucked with the finger and the dunnalli( the double barrel flute) and the dhol ( the drum). Very dancable, and Daler Mehndi does an amazing job, esp the end, which is a couple, unadorned by music, lines. Chitra's shrill couple lines are note perfect ( with a teensy south-indian accent) and provide a nice dimension. This is my favorite in the album so far.

Paathshalla- This track features twice in the album. Very hip, pop-rock number. A little bizarre with its asymmetric three beat cycle. Sung by Naresh Iyer, Mohd Aslam, ( second version has Blaaze). I could almost see a hiked up car with the immense tires on a dirt track.
Love the lyrics: talli hokar girne se/samjhi hamne gravity,
ishq ka practical kiya/thaab aiye kilarity;
Even uses words like alpha, theta and H2SO4, college kid anthem:D. Hilarious. Uma loves it. My whole car was reverberating with the beats in the song. It was fun!

Tu Bin Bataye: the only romantic song in the album, much different from the 'kho gayi meri gathariaya' song from Swades, thank goodness! Uses some of the same ebb and flow of orchestra tricks. Sung by Madhushree and Naresh Iyer. Background is very subdued, the focus in on the vocals, the full orchestra of violins and some nice subtle touches like ghungaro, church bells and echo effects. The song is nice and mellow with a dreamlike quality to it. very nice.

Khalbali: This is middle-east inspired song, full with arabic lyrics ( Nacim) and the vocal gyrations ( which echo a belly dancers movements). ARR sings, but he is good in this song. The two other voices are Nacim and Aslam. This is one of the places the ARR stamp shows, interweaving themes (including a ‘khaalid’ strain ) give complexity to the song, which saves it from a horrible monotonous death. Not bad.

Khoon challa- Mohit Chauhan, a lead singer from one of the hip new pop bands, apparently. Nice voice, an untrained voice, can't manage complex tunes but does wonderfully well with this very simple tune with minimal music. The voice is reminiscent of Shailendra kumar, the same freshness. This guy loves singing, he puts his soul in the song; and it shows. It is a fragile song and ambient noise is going to distract from it. It shows has the unfinished touch. But it is not unfinished, the attention to the small details surface if you listen to it carefully. Low on layering and orchestration, mainstays are guitar which complements without distracting. Well done.

Luka chupi- It is a funny song, not literally. The words suggest a song sung by mom to call out to her kid, lullaby like… however, and here comes the twist, it plays out more like an amateur jam session. The music is minimalistic, there’s guitar, table and flute and jal-tarang simulation on a synthesizer(weird combo, I know). Lata’s voice is lovely ( and I usually don’t find her voice lovely anymore). ARR sings.
The guys’ been learning classical and practicing, but there are a few things he should leave to others, like singing.
It seems people want to be known for things that they are not very good at, while they take for granted the things they excel at. I have a hypothesis that folks let ARR sing so that he will direct music for their movies, just like folks let MM Kreem direct music just so he’ll sing for the score. ARR should really think twice before singing. Really.

Lalkaar: Aamir Khan recites in guttural tone ( it would sound so much nicer with a baritone like Amitab, but, Aamir does a decent job). Love the words…
Sarfaroshi ki tammana ab hamare dil mein hai …
Good job by the lyricist, Prasoon Joshi. The war backdrop is well done, chorus echoing the voice and the plaintive but subdued taan. Nice!

Roobaroo: Naresh Iyer and ARR. Reminds me of that ‘purani jeans aur guitar ' song, which was the archtypical college-dorm-dreaming-of-your-future-song. Naresh Iyer fits well, not a very well trained voice, but seems to possess raw talent and obviously loves singing. His voice fits in very well with the strumming-guitar-and-singing-along-popular-college-hero that rule the inter-college festivals persona, we all know and love. Minimalistic music, very in keeping with the mood of the song. Like the ‘aye saala’ bit. Nice touch!
It is small touches like this ( and the scatting) which belie the impression of the simple- almost rough edges in the album. It may seem unfinished, raw, but its lack of finish is like the frayed edge tweed coat by Channel. It is intentional and very much a statement.

All in all- love it.
Verdict? typical ARR fare, will not do well… Also, can’t wait to watch the movie… with this much attitude in the music, the movie looks promising.
Another Aamir Khan flick?
I am happy :)

.. cold...

.. I was so cold yesterday, that I actually ate a piece of chocolate to feel warm....
and I never eat chocolate....
brrr...

Tis the season to be ...

Everywhere I look there is world weary cynicism, loves lost, pangs of being misplaced, within and without.
I was introduced to the glitzy(!) new world of blogging thru my younger siblings. Most of the blogs I visit when I go blog hopping are similar. I start from a twenny blog, the incestuous cycle may turn into a spiral but it does not stray far... the back patting, the handholding and the inane commenting. Till it dawned on me that whatever the age, it is just a bunch of lonely people reaching out. Even though most of the blog-facades seem egoistical exaggerations or single faceted views into people.. they are revealing. And this new-fangled ( hardly) media called web does make world a smaller place.
Most of the blog-spheres consist of people who have never seen each other, but they mean more to each other thru their words than the folks they meet in their daily life. Sometimes it seems like escapism, but who am I to say anything, whatever makes one get thru a difficult period and friends with masks are much better than drugs and alcohol :)
It amazes me to see the world weariness I see in these younglings, the attitudes and the coping mechanisms.. it is an insight into a generation, or is it? I wish there were more of my generation ( yeah, I know I sound like I have a foot in the grave ).. I'd like to see if there was a difference or if it is more about personality types and not age groups.
I am reading the latest Vikram Seth book. I am not done reading it, it is a slow read. Vikram Seth is much older now than he was when he wrote 'heaven lake ..'. And the pace of the book and the subject, full of filial ties and the long drawn out relationship descriptions is tedious... As I read, I wonder if it is an age thing? do these things become more important as we get older, Suitable boy was completely fictional but the plots and subplots and descriptions were far more engrossing. I found the same thing in my recent visit to India. All of the people I used to find fascinating ... had become somewhat unrecognizable in their conversation... surely it was not so before?
Or as my favorite therapist, Bernie ( who also styles my hair to perfection) said, maybe it is you who have changed, sweetheart.
Change is a good thing I guess, but what do you do when you change so, and the world you knew becomes a foreign land? I guess, you start discovering things again, with your new self.

Hanuman: the music

I am back once more, with a music review of an album where the music is not done by any of my favorites :)
I must say, I bought the CD purely on the cuteness of the little hanuman. And I have not been disappointed.
Let’s start then ...
Mahabali Maharudra: So many of my favorite voices, Kailash Kher, KK, Shaan, Palash Sen, Madhushree, Sneha Pant and alas Sonu Nigam. It starts with khadal and manjera and the chants from hanuman chalissa. The thunder and lightning as the music picks up and ebbs. The mix of voices is magical. The words, Mahabali maharudra shauravaan .. hanuman. The track does justice to each of the voices, it is grand and magnificent, my favorite track so far.

Jay Hanuman: Two voices I never thought I'd hear together, Kailash Kher and Shankar Mahadevan. So different and yet they go so well together. The hunger in Kailash Kher’s voice fits the supplicatatory note required for this song. It is a spin on the hanuman chalissa- Jay hanuman gyan goon sagar, Jay kapish theun lok ujaagar. The song has repetitive meter, the four lines cycle back over and over, it could have been monotonous, but the richness, interplay of vocal contrast from the two singers and the semi-classical taan's in the background, which add a dimension to the song, lift it from the ordinary to memorable.
Akdam Bakdam: The exploits of little hanuman, as he flies thru the sky and creates all kinds of mischief. Sung by shravan. Reminiscent of the jungle book song ' chaadi pahen ke phool khila hai'. The hyper active song with nonsensical lyrics ( akdam bakdam) is so far uma's favorite song and I can see why :).

Jay Bajrangbali: Baby hanuman's exploits continued. Sung by Palash Sen and Kinshuk Sen. The lyrics stray a little bit from the traditional in this... Sabse solid gada kiski../ yeh magic poonch bhi hai uski ... sing it kid! Lovely mix of classical/ pop. Very euphoria and very Palash Sen( even has 'dhoom pichuk dhoom' in it ). Very nice and utterly danceable.

Hanuman theme: it does a great job of mixing the tranquil bits with the crazy high energy bits. Chorus and taan's in the background with jaal tarang and trumpet, mostly synthesized music, but blends in the transitions and seemingly opposing elements well.

Hanuman Chalissa:( Vijay Prakash, Nandini, Rashmi) The only piece that could qualify as the old school devotional music. The verse of Hanuman Chalissa is very well adapted. The rendition is lovely, with clear enunciation and the background theme (mostly taans by the female half of the vocals and some chants) add a nice dimension to the number.

Destroying Ashok Vatika: very nice, I can almost see Hanumna jumping around destroying the places, uprooting the tree... bam bam bajrang bali :)
Bridge across the Ocean: slightly serious and somber tone with chants of jai shri ram. Nice.
The war begins: somber to signify a marching army perhaps.
Kumbkaran: interesting, with the resounding drum beat to mirror foot steps?
Ravan goes to war: Very tantric, with the invocations to the Mahadev Shambhu, Lord shiva. Suitably ominous and the lone conch shell at the end. Very nice.

The music is by Tapas Relia. Impressive. The music is not very complex or subtle, most of the number have a couple themes which are laid out with simplicity. The numbers are short enough to not become tedious and repetitive. The voices are well used. The music is energetic and well arranged. He definitely has used the best vocal talent around. I am not sure I am ready to add the guy to my favorites list yet, He has potential, I was impressed but not quite blown away. I am buying his next album. The jury is out still :)
The lyrics by Satish Mutatkar are mostly amalgamation of Hanuman chalissa and Hanuman astak, which take me back to my childhood (I could recite in entirety by the time I was 6-7 years old). He has held true to the words, and any additions and manipulations sound suitably supplicatory, joyous or ominous as the mood demands. Very nicely done.

Hello December

And it is snowing out :D

It is December today. My favorite month of the year. For many a reason. It is the end of a year for many, but for me it is the beginning of the next year. It is also the beginning of the cold season, and I love cold. The extent of this love came crashing down on me during my recent visit to the tropics. I hate the heat; I bore it somehow earlier, but now my body and mind revolt vociferously. My skin was stretched thin over my(now) bony frame and looked extremely splotchy. I got mysterious cuts and bruises all over my arms and legs ( bil and sis think it is a case of voodoo magic). My brain refused to function, surrounded by the yummiest food ever, my appetite deserted me and I felt anything but me. I was greeted by below freezing temperatures on my arrival. Today it is snowing, suddenly all is well :)

Back to December; most people are off for most of the month, which means I can get a lot more work done at work. It is an efficient month... somehow days seem to be unhurried and a lot longer. I like that. And I get to not talk a lot. I love that. It is my month of re-charging.

It holds some important days too. I get officially older in this month( even though I insist on rounding of to the next number after six months have passed). December also holds the day I came to live, in this city I call home, many many years ago. That to me, is perhaps, one of the most important days in my life (next to the day my child was born).

December is also the holiday month. I have a brightly decked Christmas tree (which I have been setting up on the thanksgiving weekend for quite a few years now). Holiday season also means gift giving season, means I get to shop. I love that, mostly because I am shopping for people I love. Packing the gifts and putting them under the tree as I imagine the look of surprise (and hopefully joy) when they see them.
I love the smells of this month, the fire in the fireplace, the warm spices and soups, ginger and nutmeg, the smell of cookies and pies and meat curries... hot chocolate doesn't taste this good any other time of the year.

Despite the cold, it is a warm month. My home is warm and welcomimg each time I come back.
Maybe it is the cold outside that puts warmth in perspective or I just love the frost and the dreamy white look of the lanscape... either way

Oh the weather outside is frightful
But the fire is so delightful
And since we've no place to go
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

Ode to Ma and Papa

November is the month of b’days in our family. Ma and Papa have their b’day’s in this month, this is the first time in the last ten years I’ll be home for a part of the month...

So, here’s it is.. my ode to Mom and Pop.

Nature and nurture, I owe them both to you. Thank you. I could not have asked for better parents.

Ma, as I call my mom, is the most talented person, I have ever met. When I was a kid, I thought that there was nothing that she could not do. She could cook anything, she could make anything better ( from people, to stray animals and birds to dying plants…), she could make anything-- dresses, projects, anything… and she never gave up. New dresses appeared magically on the morning of the birthday, whole house was decorated, food for parties of humungous number of people was ready in our magical kitchen…. Most of this magic seemed to happen when we kids were in the land of nod. Thank you Ma, for all those sleepless nights you spent in making our wishes (many of them unspoken) come true.
Ma gave me some gifts I can never thank her enough for. The gift of reading. When I was a kid, she banned ‘popular fiction’ for me (I did read her M&B’s hiding in bathrooms and closets) but thanks to her I had read the classics before I was 15. She got me tons of books from her school library, and everywhere else she could...
The gift of music… we all love listening to music, she sings very well (one of her three masters degrees is in Music) and is one of the few people who, when given any string or a keyboard instrument can figure out how to play it. None of us can live without music … we went to music and dance classes when other kids were watching TV and playing. It was hard to come by these classes in the suburban town and required immense amount of planning and resourcefulness on her part to get us to these classes, but she did. We went there complaining, but today when I can recognize a raga or Indian instrument and tell my daughter about it, I am thankful to my Mom.

Papa, on the other hand is the most disciplined, structured and hardworking person I have ever seen in my life. He can even now, put his finger on the exact file where the negatives from our 1982 Ooty trip are. Truly self made, my Dad came to this new town for a new job and rose thru the ranks to be where he is. He has a system for everything. I still add the way he taught me to some 26-27 years ago, using a mark for a carryover… and I can still add faster than most people around me :) . Growing up my favorite subjects were Maths and Physics and I remember picking up most his engineering books when I went to college ( his Reedhill still lives in my office bookshelf and I pick it up once in a while when I get sick of software :)). My dad loved his job and was very good at it. He is my yardstick for what hardworking and honest person who has not cheated anyone of his due should be. Someday, I hope to be like him.

Ma and Papa are very independent. If I might be so bold to add, perhaps the most independent people I have seen in their generation. They are both from widely divergent backgrounds, Ma from a very hardcore Bengali family and Papa’s parents were the Punjabi’s driven out of Pakistan at partition. Together, they built for us a home where there was tolerance, talent, hard-work and love. We celebrated all festivals from Christmas to Id. We read all kinds of books and listened to all kinds of music and ate all kinds of food. The only thing you were not allowed to do was ‘not be the best you could be’. We were told that we could be whatever we wanted to be, encouraged to make our own decisions and push the limits of the known world.

Thank you, Ma and Papa, for everything you are and everything you gave me. I know I have been vociferous about my complaints in the last 15 years :)
… this is just to tell you, I know and I appreciate everything you are and you have done.

another thought...

Live like there is no tomorrow.
Work like you don't need money,
Love like you've never been hurt,
And dance like no one's watching.

it is easy to say ... but oh so hard to do :)

smoldering leaves

Thought for the day ...

Life is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.

A yellow tree

Tree by the wall ...

Tagged

the fifth line of the 23 entry.
well my 23 entry happens to be a photo entry.. pic of Mt Rainier.. titled 'Seattle-- my Home'.

So, a blank then?


Done.

Short Tales...

It was a dark and gloomy sunday morning. When did it become fall again?
The face in the mirror, familiar and yet...
The hollowness had left her cheek and the emptiness her eyes, her jacket didn't smell of cigarettes anymore...
I guess, I am finally over him, she thought to herself as she took a long satisfying sip of the dark roasted Sumatra.

***************************

She ran up the incline, panting, she was just 26 dammit, she was going to finish this god-awful marathon- she chided herself, even as her body complained. In ten years, she might not be able to pull it off. Besides, she was not sure she'd find the motivation again.

She stopped for a breather at the volunteers table and picked up a paper cup of water.

Peter, do you need some water?
No dad, I am good.
Ok, lets go then... all set?
Yup, Dad.

The balding man put the little boy with paralyzed legs in a harness and attached the harness to his back and took off.

Maybe, she'd find reasons. Her hand went instinctively to her flat belly and her mind to the unopened six pack of EPT she had bought at costco last evening.
She tossed the papercup, missing the gray bin, smiled at the volunteer as she started running. Suddenly, it seemed easier.

*****************************

Words were blurry, the cursor blinked crazily. Her fingers could not find the keys on her laptop. Thoughts formed and as she went to type them, they vaporized... and she paused, with her fingers poised above the keyboard.
What is wrong with me? it is a fucking online ad-copy for godssake.. I used to be able to rattle them off in my sleep... I am getting old and senile and happy and fat, I can't keep a thought in my head long enough to see its colors...
Life had taken away the angst and without the angst her words weren't poignant enough. Her thoughts were like well fed puppies, they held people for less than five seconds before they left to read about someone else’s searing pain. Love was killing her career.

Hey you! up so early?
How can you see anything, you are wearing my glasses!
Here, coffee, just the way you like it, black without sugar,
he said, as he dropped a kiss on her tousled head.

She watched him close the door behind him as she nursed her favorite coffee cup.
This was worth everything.
She smiled as the blinking monitor shifted into focus.

******************************

Mom, why are the cars not moving?
umm, sweetie, I think there is an accident.
oh! what happened mommy?
I think someone was not being careful and they bonked their car.
Why is that person not moving?

I was not sure what to tell my child, I had not yet figured out whether I believe in God, if there existed such a thing as heaven, if there were souls, What was death? What happened to us when we died? I did not know how to answer her question.

Mommy, do you think he is dead?
Yes, sweetie. I think so.

I guess, for now, this is enough.

Time

A little over eight years ago, I started working for a software firm. It was the pre-dot-com era and I was glad to be finally doing what I loved doing anyway and getting paid for it. I loved my job. Thru the ups and downs of my life this one thing has been constant. Almost.

In the last couple years I have seen the stirrings of the seven year itch. This is not the job I loved, everywhere I look I see mediocrity and politics... coming into work is not a rush anymore and I do not long for my vacation to end so that I can go back to work.
What happened to it? Did I just get bored? Is it mid-life crisis? Or did the world at work really change?

I see so many people complain about the workplace.. most of them are just bitter 20-something 'grass is greener on the other side of the fence' complaints. Complaints of how people had it good 10-15 years ago and they could make easy millions by joining some software company and how they have been robbed of the opportunity ... basic complaints about having to work hard for the millions now.

But, I see things around me that I don't like, the firm is getting fat in the middle... Too much management and not enough people doing real work ... and most of the middle-management is pitiful anyway. Unhappy, scared, de-motivated, de-moralized people, not enough leadership in everyday life. Bad product strategy ... higher ups not in touch with reality and then the 'spin'-- for everything. Too much politics and not enough 'lets fix it.

This is not the place I started at... I was a green college grad student, who felt like she had finally come home. People were smart and worked hard. Nothing was impossible or too hard, there was integrity and fun. I loved it. I could walk down the hall to talk to the guy who wrote the API and have him tell me how and sometimes even acknowlege, my way of doing something was better than his original design.

I have given this place eight years and it has given me a lot back in return, a place to learn and grow, contribute to the world with what I do, a fat paycheck and a fatter benefits packet, friends and co-workers who are like my family now.

I have fought with people on why it is not the evil empire and why it is a great place to work.. why the review model and the curve are not arbitrary, how the interviews need to be that long. Folks tell me I have been drinking the company cool-aid too long:) but I just believe in a lot of these things that form the foundation of this place. I have seen really good managers who have used the tools of recruiting and reviewing in ways to promote happy and healthy teams. There is nothing really wrong with the system, every system can be used in ways that are counter to the principles that created it. Quoting Warren Buffet, Three things to look for in people you hire, they should be honest, hardworking and smart. The first two being essential, without which the third one actually becomes dangerous.

I read in JWZ's blog a long time ago, when he quit netscape he said, there are two kinds of people, people who make a company successful, and the kind of people who want to work for a successful company. I do believe the place I work for is now getting heavier in people of the second category. Sad as it sounds, this is not home anymore. Will I stay and try to fix my home or will I quit? Time will tell, I guess.

playlist

Devo - girl I want
Korn - freak on a leash
INXS- the stairs
Elvis Costello - indoor fireworks
INXS -Faith in Each other
Faith no more - I won't forget you
Cure - close to me
Hootie and the blowfish - only wanna be with you
Elvis Costello - lovable
Fleetwood Mac - Go your own way
Elvis Costello -I hope you are happy now
Cake -Friend is a four letter word
Chris Cornell - Can't change me
Billy Joel - And So it goes
INXS - not enough time
The Cardigans - Lovefool
....

If there were a way to psychoanalyze a playlist, what would my verdict would be ?

Coprocephalic -- or Shithead
I agree!